top of page

Working with Difficult Emotions

Emotional Balance

About This Practice

Difficult emotions—like sadness, anger, fear, or shame—are part of the human experience. Trying to ignore or suppress them may offer temporary relief, but research suggests that unacknowledged emotions tend to resurface with greater intensity later on. By acknowledging and allowing these feelings (even if you don’t like them), you give yourself the chance to process them more fully and respond with greater clarity.

Key Insight: Emotional suppression can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues. Acknowledging emotions fosters emotional resilience and psychological well-being.

Working with Difficult Emotions
Working with Difficult Emotions

How to Use the Focus Frame

  • Shake the FrameThe swirling glitter represents the turbulence of strong emotions.

  • Watch the Glitter SettleAs the glitter slowly settles, remind yourself that emotions, too, can settle when given space.

  • Self-ReminderSay silently or aloud: "I can feel this, even if I don’t like it." This statement affirms that while you may not welcome the discomfort, you’re willing to acknowledge and experience it.

The Science Behind It

  • Emotional RegulationNaming or accepting an emotion can decrease activity in the amygdala (the brain’s threat detector) and increase engagement in the prefrontal cortex, where rational thinking and emotional control occur.

  • Mindfulness & AcceptanceStudies show that when people observe and label their difficult emotions (e.g., "This is anger"), they reduce the emotion’s intensity and improve their ability to respond constructively.

References:

  • Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281–291.

  • Lieberman, M. D., et al. (2007). Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.

Extended Practice

  • Check Physical SensationsNotice if you feel tension, heaviness, warmth, or any other sensations. Acknowledge them without trying to change them.

  • Breathe Into the EmotionTake a slow, deep breath; focus on the emotion’s location in your body, then exhale, imagining you’re creating a bit of space around that feeling.

  • Optional: Write It DownIf the emotion feels overwhelming, briefly jot down what you’re feeling (e.g., frustration at a friend, sadness about a missed opportunity).

  • Consider Next Steps

    • Self-Compassion: Offer yourself understanding.

    • Problem-Solving: If there’s a solvable issue, brainstorm possible actions.

    • Acceptance: If it’s not immediately solvable, allow the emotion to ebb and flow without pressuring yourself to “fix” it.

Everyday Applications

  • During ConflictWhen upset, shake the Focus Frame (or simply visualize the practice), recognize the emotion, and consciously choose whether to continue the conversation or pause to cool down.

  • Work StressIf you feel anger or frustration rising, step away for 30 seconds to do the glitter-settling practice. Return with a clearer mindset.

  • Grief or SadnessGive yourself permission to feel it briefly—watch the glitter, breathe, and offer self-compassion.

Challenges

  • "I Feel Overwhelmed and Want to Avoid the Emotion."Try a Gradual Approach: You don’t have to fully immerse yourself in it all at once. Pause for a moment with the Focus Frame, name the emotion, and step away. Repeat as needed.

  • "I Worry Acknowledging the Emotion Will Make It Stronger."Paradox of Suppression: Research shows suppressing an emotion can intensify it. Acknowledging feelings often diminishes their power over time.

  • "I Don’t Know How to Sit with My Emotions."Start with Short Intervals: Use the glitter as a timer—just watch it settle. Practice this regularly to build tolerance for discomfort.

Reflection Prompts

  1. Identify a Recent Difficult Emotion: What triggered it? How did your body respond?

  2. Observe Your Coping Strategy: Did you acknowledge it, or did you try to push it away?

  3. Future Intentions: How could you handle a similar situation next time?

  4. Self-Compassion Check: Did you offer yourself kindness or did self-criticism creep in?

Resources

  • Books

    • Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach – Emphasizes the power of allowing difficult emotions to be felt with compassion.

    • Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff – Guides on treating yourself with kindness, especially during emotional distress.

  • Apps

  • Research Articles

    • Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281–291.

    • Lieberman, M. D., et al. (2007). Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.

Final Takeaway

Ignoring difficult emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Allowing yourself to feel them—even if they’re uncomfortable—can actually help them settle faster. By practicing with the Focus Frame, you develop the awareness and resilience needed to work through challenging emotions, rather than letting them dictate your actions.

bottom of page